A mom's letter to her sons
Dear Mike, Tom and Tim, Last summer;
Mike, I heard you say to a friend, "I will never forgive my Mom and Dad for the divorce." It hurt me so much to hear you say that, to know that you had every right to be angry with us.
As you boys were growing up, I was able to bandage a cut finger, kiss a bruised knee, or make you laugh when your feelings were hurt.
I tried my very best to be a good Mom. I tried my very best to be a good wife. Your dad and I had a marriage that was full of sadness. We were either fighting or not talking to each other at all. No matter what I changed or what I said or what I did, I couldn't keep our marriage together.
Choosing the divorce was the most difficult decision of my life. especially because of you boys, who I would protect with my life, were going to be hurt the most. When you boys would ask me about the divorce or cry yourselves to sleep at night because you missed Dad, I felt like a terrible person inside. I felt like I let you boys down. I felt so guilty for all the arguments you heard. I felt guilty because you wouldn't have your Mom and Dad full time anymore.
In the last 7 years, I have really tried to make our life together special. In doing that, lots of things were not the way I wanted them to be. Because I had to work extra jobs, I was gone from you so much. Each time I started the car to pull away, I would cry because I missed you all so much. When I started to date, or go out with my new friends, I never had much fun because I was always wondering if you were OK. There were so many days when I was tired and crabby and snapped at you, the three people who didn't deserve it.
Mike, you carried the weight of living out the father role at such an early age. You have protected me from the world; you missed being a kid.please forgive me.
Tom, you have been sandwiched in the middle, trying to share Mom's load, and trying to be Dad for Tim. You did well in your sports and got good grades. You never received approval or support from your Dad, the one person you needed it from the most. please forgive me.
Tim, you have watched the father you idolized as a small boy, become real in your eyes. You have always wanted coaching for your baseball and football; you wanted to learn how to fix a bike, and missed hugs from your Dad. please forgive me.
Boys, now that you are grown, I realize that I can't change what happened to our family. I can only give you my best and try to make each new day special.
I Love You So Much,
Mom
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